It's been just over a month since we brought you home, our Petit Marcel Gray, and life is so good with you in it! I was so worried how life with two babies would be and what it would mean for our little family, but all those fears and anxious thoughts were quickly gone from my mind when I met you. You are the sweetest little boy, and such a wonderful baby. The transition from one baby to two has (so far) proved to be an easy, natural one for us, and we couldn't be happier with our new family of four.
Your first morning at home:
Thanksgiving celebration at 5 days old!
You love bath time just like your sister!
For the first couple weeks, we never heard you cry, and even still the only time we truly hear you letting us know you are unhappy is when we are in the car! You are not a huge fan of the carseat just yet, and I fear it may be due to your love for your belly. I am hoping this is a phase you quickly grow out of, but if it is our only hard obstacle with you my dear boy, I am sure we will get through it! :) Instead of crying, your vocalization comes in the form of grunting. It's extremely amusing to hear you grunt and snort as you find the sweet spot in our arms or in your bed before drifting off to sleep. More times than not, you are trying to work out a gas bubble, and when it passes you fall into a peaceful slumber.
You at two weeks:
You are an excellent sleeper, thus far, and much like your sister, you and I fell into a perfect rhythmic schedule from day one. Throughout the day I have to wake you to eat every three hours, otherwise I fear you would sleep ALL day if I allowed it. Zaylee and I try to entertain you after meals, but sometimes you just aren't up for awake time and drift off into a deep sleep once again, only to be waken a couple hours later. Your biggest awake times our first thing in the morning during our breakfast time, and in the evenings before bed. You are so content in those moments as you look around the room taking in the world around you. We rarely ever hear you complain as you lay on your beanbag bed while I try to entertain your sister, and have started to interact with us while we sit and talk with you. Zaylee loves to include you, and tries to share all of her things with you. You mostly take it with grace and patience, but when you get whacked with a toy you let us know it isn't your favorite thing in the world! :)
You at four weeks:
We snuggle in bed every morning and it is by far my favorite time of day!
Our nights have been a breeze with you, with the exception of two nights. You don't truly wake, but make enough noise to wake me up when it is time to eat. Your eyes never really open, but you eat well and go right back to sleep. You are currently a tummy sleeper, and amaze us with your strength on a daily basis! You inch your way from the bottom of the bed all the way to the top, and move your head from side to side with the greatest of ease. On two occasions you decided you wanted to hang out and stay up after you ate. We were thankful for your happy demeanor, although we would have preferred sleep in those early morning hours. We most definitely do not take for granted the blessing we have had in both you and your sister, making our nights restful rather than sleepless. Each time we feel tired, we are filled with gratitude for the good sleep habits that came naturally for you both and pray for those mothers that struggle for months on end. I am confident the Lord knows my patience are a struggle for me, and gives me what He knows I can handle. I am blessed and a better mother because of it!
The first month with you has been so extremely wonderful! I have loved watching your sister love on you (sometimes hit), and am so thankful to have two babies to love and care for. My heart is full!! You have started to smile at us and kick your little legs with glee when we talk with you. You are such a pleasant, content, joyful boy and we can't seem to get enough of you! You are strong, healthy, and growing too quickly for my liking, but I'm so thrilled to be your mom and get to witness your growth daily!
Zaylee girl, I had so many emotions about the transition from one baby to two, and all of that was due to the fact that you would no longer have all my attention. I worried we wouldn't share the same bond we did before baby brother was in our lives, and I feared you would resent me for that. I envisioned you being jealous and not wanting anything to do with your brother which would break my heart. All of these things ate me up before the day your brother came into our lives. I wanted to make sure I kissed you more each day leading up to his arrival, spend extra quality time so you knew how much I loved you, and reminded you over and over how much you meant to me and how happy I was that you were my little girl.
The night I went into labor was the first time we ever left you, and the whole way to the hospital all I could say to dad was how much I wished I would have sneaked in to your room and kissed you as my only baby one last time. I thought about you the entire night as I anticipated your brothers arrival. When morning came and we called home, I was so relieved to hear you were doing great and were happy to be with Grandma D when you woke up. A few hours later your brother came into the world, and we were over the moon. It was wonderful to have those first moments and hours with just him to bond and get acquainted with one another, but we couldn't wait to see you and have our whole family of four together!
When you arrived, you were so sweet with Marcel and I my heart was exploding with joy watching you love on him. You wanted to be close to him, kiss him, lay your head on him, and you even shared your beloved bunny with him. It was such a natural thing for you to give him so much love and it was incredibly special to witness as your Mother. I'm so proud of your compassionate heart and can't wait to see what the Lord does with it's greatness.
Over the past few weeks you have grown more in love with Marcel. Each morning the first thing you say after I get you out of bed is, "Baby!?" You want to know where he is and make sure he is ok before we have our breakfast together. When I am changing him, burping him, or holding just simply holding him, you are constantly trying to help me or asking to hold him yourself. It only lasts a minute or two before you are done, but you are always giddy when you have him in your arms. You are constantly trying to cuddle him when you find him laying on the couch or the bed, and like to make sure he is covered and warm. Its so sweet, and he is very welcoming of your affections.
All of that sweetness is not without your moments of frustration. You have started to show bits of jealousy when you want me to do something with you, but can't as I am usually in the middle of feeding the baby. In those moments, you have been known to start out with a sweet caress and quickly grad hold of his hair while giving it a good yank, attempt to poke his eye, try to sit on him, or smack his little body. There was even an incident with your finger up his nose! I understand the hardship, and it breaks my heart. I have no doubt that you will be the very best protector of your brother and will have a bond so deep that no one will be able to separate you two in years to come. For now, the frustrations and fits are acceptable (although you do get talked to very sternly when you hurt him!) and I am confident that they will pass as the days go on; that is, until you are older and the fights become two sided! :)
Both of my babies ready for naptime!
Always wanting to share your things with him!
It has been such a joy having our little Marcel with us, and such a blessing to watch you be a big sister to him. Your concern and love for him are the greatest gifts for me as your mother and I can't wait to see the two of you grow up together. You are so special to me my Zaylee Jean, and I'm so thankful to be your mom!!
The best fort made with love by your Papa!
Sharing your bed while you and Papa played in your fort!
You having a little break from the hospital after meeting Marcel!
For weeks I had been praying our little boy would come just a few days early so that we could be home and waiting for Grandma and Grandpa D to arrive from the states. We had plans to get out and about and show them as much of our area of France as we could in the short two weeks they would be here with us, and with the unknown of how baby boy would make his entrance I was left with anxious thoughts that either he would never come out, or I would be forced into a second C-section. I did everything I could to stay positive and keep my focus on the fact that the Lord was in control and would keep us both safe and in good health no matter how or when I was to meet my newest little love.
In the weeks leading up to the big day, I had inclinations that I was having contractions, but since I had not had anything other than tightening with Zaylee I wasn't sure if it was in fact what I was feeling. I was extremely hopeful, but didn't want to get my hopes up to high so I usually played them off as nothing, although they would come in spurts and then fade over and over again. I wallked every day, kept busy around the house cleaning, scrubbing, doing laundry on repeat to get things moving. In my down times I would feel crampy and tight every 5-10 minutes, but when I would be up moving around I would lose track and eventually they would fade away. Each time these moments would come upon me I would pray that I would know without a doubt when it was the real thing, and would thank the Lord over and over for this blessing of life inside me and the honor it was to be able to carry a child. I am beyond blessed and I refused to lose sight of that even in my moments of weakness and loss of hope.
November 5th, the day Grandma and Grandpa were to arrive, came upon us and still we had no baby boy. I stayed extra busy with Zaylee that morning, cleaned every nook and cranny of our apartment for the umpteenth time, and after a hot shower I started to feel a little bit of something going on. I was in denial and anxiously waited for my parents to arrive. They arrived just after four and we sat around catching up, letting Zaylee get acquainted with them, and resting in the living room over tea and snacks. Mamie made a quiche for us to snack on that evening, and as we sat around the table a little after 6pm I started feeling consistent contractions but very, very mild and still unaware if they were truly real contractions. Grandma and Daddy would put their hands on my belly and assure me that they WERE contractions, and I tried to not get too excited.
As the night went on, they hung around and got a bit stronger as the hours passed. They were definitely not painful, but getting more crampy, a bit longer, and consistent. After Grandma and Grandpa went to bed, I laid down and started chatting with Aunt Bethany and was trying to stay hopeful but not too anxious as it may have been all in my head. By about 10:30 they were much stronger, but still not painful. I wanted to get up and walk as I knew that would make them more intense, but I was afraid to move because I didn't want them to go away. I knew that was a silly thought, but I really wanted this to be the real thing and I was afraid of jinxing it all together! I decided to get up and do a few things around the house, eat a little something, and bounce on my ball for a while. They continued to stay consistent and were getting a bit longer as time went on. I wouldn't say they were painful, but I definitely had to concentrate through them a bit more than if they were just Braxton Hicks. This made me so thankful! I prayed through each one thanking the Lord that I was able to have this opportunity. I felt so blessed in those moments of early labor. Dad was anxious to get to the hospital, but I knew it was a bit too soon for that. He convinced me to go as the doctors kept telling us that it was important we come right away since I had a C-section with our sweet Zaylee girl. We woke up all the grandparents, and Grandma D came down to our room so that she could be there for Zaylee in the morning. Grandpa D was completely out of it due to the jetlag, but groggily reached out his hand and touched my belly before we headed out the door.
It was rainy and cold out that night, and we couldn't wait to get the labor party started if this was in fact the real deal! We headed to the hospital just after midnight and I had about 4-5 contractions on our way there. The French roundabouts and speed bumps helped them along I am sure of it, but I was thankful they didn't disappear!! On our way there I kept saying to Dad, "I really think it's too soon. I don't want to get sent home." He constantly responded, "If we do get sent home, then we get sent home. It is better to be safe, plus I don't think we will be sent home!" We arrived and were met by a sweet, young Sage Femme named Valentine. She saw our last name and asked us if we knew a Tabailloux named Anna. She knew her and the twins from the FEU, and we were so thankful to have her taking care of us! She spoke great English and was so gentle and kind to us through the whole process. She checked me and I was still only at a 2 but nearly 100% effaced. At this point my contractions had slowed a bit, and I felt discouraged that we would be sent home right then. After all the check-in procedures were finished, she brought us to a pre-delivery room for monitoring.
My contractions were consistent but still not quite as intense as they had become on our way to the hospital. After 45 minutes of monitoring, I was allowed to walk around for an hour before they would check me and figure out the next step for us. I was so thankful to be up moving. I walked the halls and did some lunges and squats between each contraction. Dad was able to catch a little shut eye on a chair in the hall where I would pace up and down and work through the contractions in my own special way. They got much more intense in that hour coming every 2-3 minutes, and I felt that things were starting to move along. When they checked me I moved to a 3 and fully effaced. Not as much as I had hoped, but encouraged that I was at least progressing. I was put back on the monitor, but was allowed to stay up and bounce on the ball which I loved. The contractions were staying nice and strong convincing me that we would in fact be going home WITH a baby boy!! Valentine came in and explained that if we were ready, we could head down to the Natural Birthing room and get in the tub. I was so happy to hear this and felt all was going as I had hoped. A few minutes later she came back in the room with a different plan after talking to the head Sage Femme and doctor on duty. I was told in those moments I HAD to have an epidural for the off chance that I need to be rushed in for a C-section due to my history. At first I asked and plead for the chance to refuse, but after listening to their reasoning and the realization that they were in fact doing all they could to allow me to have my much desired VBAC I gave in and went along with their plan. They promised me to keep the dosage extremely low so that I could feel each contraction, and that was all I wanted to hear to make it seem like the best of both worlds. I felt relieved that although it wasn't my hope for labor, it was the best decision for a healthy, complication free VBAC.
A little while later, at around 6:00, we headed down the hall to my delivery room and got to work putting in the epidural. The contractions were pretty strong at this point and sitting up on the side of the bed was not a fun position to be in, but we made it through. I never lost feeling in my legs, and felt each contraction as they would come and go without the severe pain. It was heavenly. Labor was so much fun, and all the Sage Femme were so kind and made our night go by so quickly and with so much ease. I was checked every hour by both the student Sage Femme, Marine, and her preceptor. I was SO thankful for my epidural when I saw how often I was being checked and not once, but twice!! Thank you Lord for that sweet relief! I was progressing by the book, a centimeter an hour, but contractions weren't getting stronger so they decided to give me a low dose of Pitocin to bring them on with more intensity at a little after 8. Baby boy was positioned posterior and I felt this very much in my back with each new contraction. We tried two different positions, but both proved to be unsuccessful in turning our little guy. At 10 when they checked me, I was at a seven with a baby still in the posterior position. They had me lay flat holding my knees tightly into my chest, not the most comfortable of positions, but at this point I was so tired I was just happy to be able to shut my eyes for a few moments.
I felt the contractions pick up at this point, coming very quickly, and causing me to feel a bit nauseous. I thought it was just my position, but a few minutes later the Sage Femme ran in the room with looks of excitement on their faces. Paul jumped up out of a dreamy state and asked if everything was ok, and the women responded, "Yes, we think he is here!" They scrubbed their hands, put on their gloves, and when they went to check me they said, "We can see his head covered in dark hair!" Paul and I were in shock, as it had only been about fifteen minutes since they announced me at a 7 and now he was here!! Paul was so excited and kept saying in my ear, "You get to push, babe! You are getting your birth. You did it!" I was in shock and wasn't really registering all that was happening. Within a couple minutes I was pushing, and was trying with all my might to concentrate and push with purpose. They all kept encouraging me, coaching me along, and letting me know when I wasn't giving my all. I pushed through four contractions, which felt like a blink of an eye and then his head was out. The ladies told me to feel his head, and I couldn't believe he was finally almost in my arms. Another contraction came, and as I pushed out he came! Marine had me reach down and help pull him up to my chest as we heard him let out a big cry to announce his arrival. We were in amazement. He laid on my chest while he let us hear his voice, and Paul was able to cut the cord after a few minutes . We laid their staring at him and soaking up every little detail on his sweet face. He looked SO much like Zaylee when he first came out, just as we had guessed he would.
We snuggled together for about an hour before they took him to wipe him down, weigh him, and check him out a bit before I nursed him. He was the exact size of our Zaylee girl: 3.4 kilograms and 52 centimeteres ( 7lb 6 oz and 20.5 inches). When I got him back on my chest, he latched immediately and ate so well! He was so calm and had such a peace about him, just like his father! After those first cries we didn't hear him cry a real cry for the first couple weeks. He is such a joy and has made transitioning from one baby to two so very wonderful thus far! We are so blessed by his precious little life filling our home with so much joy, a bit more of a mess, lots of diapers, and all of us with full hearts!
The labor and birth could not have gone more smoothly. Although it wasn't the exact plan I had set in my mind, I wouldn't have done it any other way or at any other hospital. I was so happy with how it all went, that I was ready to do it all again hours later! Labor and those first moments with our boy were so very precious to us and we couldn't contain our excitement and joy. We are so thankful for our sweet little family, and feel blessed to have two healthy, beautiful babies, with two equally special yet so very different birth experiences!
