A Sweet Reminder

Last night, I got a sweet reminder from you my dear Zaylee girl and it punched me in the gut taking the air right out of me.  Marcel is the easiest baby there has ever been (exaggeration!), but he is completely spoiled in the sleep department as far as going to sleep is concerned.  He prefers to be sung to and held, and most of the time I love our five minutes alone together as he falls fast asleep on my shoulder.  Other times, it is tiring, inconvenient, and hard for me to leave you in front of a show in order for me to get him to sleep.   As I was putting him to bed last night after a hot, busy day, he was overtired and fighting sleep unless I kept holding him in the dark of the room.  Every single time I went to put him in bed he would push himself up off the mattress and whip around faster than I could escape out the door.  I tried multiple times before losing my patience and growing frustrated coming out of the room, noticeably sighing and demanding that it was Papa's turn because I couldn't do it any longer.  Papa in his calm, gentle way stood up and kissed my cheek as he walked past me to the bedroom, disappearing behind the door singing softly into Marcel's ear.  I quickly made my way to the kitchen and started loading the dishwasher to clear my head, when you popped around the corner and sat at the edge of the kitchen.

"Happened Mama? Mama sad?"
"I'm ok honey, Mama's just tired. I'm sorry love."
"It's ok Mama.  Deep breath**.  Like this (inhales deep).  Come Mama.  Sit here (patting on her little Indian style crossed legs)." 
How could I refuse that request?  I made my way across our tiny kitchen floor to where you were sitting and gently sat on your lap.
"Oh no Mama!  Zaylee too tiny!!  Funny Mama!"  
Laughter poured out of you quickly making it's way into my poor attitude making all my sourness disappear.  I moved over and you climbed into my lap hugging my neck tight speaking sweet, "I la you much Mama's," into my ear while I was humbled by your gentleness and act of grace and love towards your imperfect Mother.

Oh Zaylee girl, this broke my heart.  Here I am trying to teach you patience through your frustrations, and yet I fail at it on a regular basis.  I pray I give you the same grace and kindness you show me, and that together we can work on our attitudes through prayer and reliance on our good Lord.  I am daily calling upon the Lord for strength in my weakness, with the desire to model a kind heart, quick to forgive and slow to become angry, for you and your brother.  Your father and I will fail you often, more than we would like, but our goal and hope as your parents is to instill kindness in your hearts.  Kindness, grace, and love towards others is what we hope to show you in our lives, so that you may grow to pass it on to those you meet throughout your lives.  

You are extremely observant to moods, emotions, and situations that surround you, and feel deeply in moments that are out of the norm.  Any time you hear me and Papa with a different tone that resembles arguing in anyway, even when we are just playing with each other, you quickly put your tiny little finger up to your lips and sternly say, "SHHHH!!"  We aren't sure where you got that from, but it has proved to be a big blessing to us.  If in fact we are frustrated with one another, it quickly sets us straight and graciously gives us a fresh start to whatever it was we were disagreeing on.  You are only 2 years old, and already teaching us so much about life.  It is amazing and completely refreshing to see things through your eyes.  You are wise little one, and I pray you use that wisdom and discernment we already see in you for God's glory.  

**We are working on your frustration and deep breaths is something we practice in moments of impatience and poor attitudes.  It seems to work, and clearly we know where you get the need for training in this area from.  I'm sorry sweet girl! 

A Few Little Details

Life is busy, emotional, slow moving yet moving to fast, and a whole extreme mess of ups and downs as we begin the process of saying goodbyes and packing up to head home to America, all while trying to soak in as many last minute memories as we can fit into the next few weeks before our departure.  This morning was one of those mornings in which everything seemed to rub me the wrong way and nothing seemed to go the way I wanted.  I took it out on you, my little love, and hated myself for it.  I wrote Papa and asked him to pray for me throughout the day and he responded with a line he often tells me in moments where I lose my patience and feel as if I am failing, "Breath. Smile. Love. Think only of all the blessing you have in front of you."  He gets me, and always opens my eyes to see the good in everything, putting into perspective the bigger picture when I am blinded by my bad attitude and selfishness. 

As you are both sleeping soundly, I am pondering all the little details of our days and the moments that stop me in my tracks with gratitude and overwhelming joy that you are mine.  I am the one that has the honor of being your mother.  I am the one that gets to hold you, love you, laugh with you, wipe away your tears and the one you want more than anyone else (with exception to Mamie most of the time!).  Here are a few of the things I want to hold on to and remember from this busy time of life:

• Your care and concern for your brother.  You are always watching out for him, making sure he isn't getting into anything that might cause him harm, loving on him, never forgetting to kiss him goodnight, eager to get him when he wakes up from his naps, rejoicing over him when he does something new, and constantly making him laugh.  The love you two have for one another is so special to me.  
• The way in which Marcel needs me.  It is different then the way you needed me, and although at times it is tiresome I am honored to be the one he always reaches for and desires.  He lights up for Papa and flaps his arms in joy when he enters the room, but it is me he lunges towards and my arms in which he likes best.  
• Watching you mother your little baby doll, Tinkerbell, is absolutely beautiful.  You are so tender and kind, always whispering in her ear, "I la you baby," while you gently stroke her head with your cheek up against hers.  You like carrying her close to you tucked in your shirt, and it is the sweetest!  
• I could listen to you play make believe all day long.  You have such an imagination these days and we can't get enough of it.  I try to capture it on film, but you are not a lover of the camera and quickly shy away from your imaginary world.  
• Hearing your sweet voice as you peek out of your room in the morning quietly saying to me, "Morning Mama," as you walk over to me and gently nuzzle your sweaty head into my shoulder.  
• Seeing the look of pure joyful pride on little Marcel's sweet face as he pulls himself up, standing tall and strong as his own two feet.  He squeals, while you clap, and my heart fills.  

It is in these little things, and so many more, that make me realize that all the hard, mundane, tiring moments are far beyond worth it to have the privilege to be called Mom to you two little loves.  The snuggles, smiles, sweet words, salty kisses, and sounds of joy and laughter are the greatest joys I have ever known. 

Marcel at 8 Months!

Life just keeps getting better as the months go on and you become more involved with the world around you.  You are into EVERYTHING these days, and are so extremely inquisitive of every little detail surrounding you.  Nothing goes unnoticed by your pretty, big blue eyes, and your little hands have to touch it all.  Determination is your middle name, and you will not give up without a great effort to get whatever it is you have your mind set on.  You are no longer content to sit still, and are on the move at all times.  Army crawling with great speed like a soldier escaping to freedom, pulling up to your knees and starting to pull up to stand, walking while holding our fingers and jumping along the way, and following your sister around the house are some of the ways you spend most of your waking hours.

Food has quickly made its way into your heart, and I have yet to find something you don't like.  Your favorite food so far seems to be avocado mixed with fromage blanc, but meats are starting to make their way up the charts.  You love drinking out of our glass, taste all of our foods, and attempt to steal all of your sister's snacks.  Food seems to be your love language these days, and we are having so much fun watching you explore new tastes and textures.  This month you grew your first two teeth, and you are already putting them to good use chewing the small pieces of food seeing that you prefer those over anything pureed.  

Although you are Mr. Busybody these days, snuggling is still one of your favorite pastimes and I am more than ok with that!  I love feeling you snuggle up into my neck while your little hand squeezes tight to my arm, your other one playing with my hair.  Your smile is truly the most charming, heart-melting gift that you keep on giving and giving.  We love it!  Laughter comes easily to you and it is the most refreshing sound, and as of late, you are becoming quite the talker.  When you first wake up in the morning, you talk for a good solid hour in a very loud, boisterous voice making sure we are all aware you are alive and well.  The rest of the day you are still pretty quiet and not one to complain unless you have good reason.  You have recently found your voice when it comes to expressing your frustrations when you can't get what you want, whether it be food or a toy out of reach, and have learned to let your sister know when she has taken away a toy that you weren't quite ready to part with.  Thankfully you are easily distracted and are easily the most pleasant little boy I ever did meet.

We love watching you explore and learn new things these days.  Your face lights up with each new accomplishment, and it fills our hearts with so much joy to be apart of each moment with you.  You are our prince, as Zaylee refers to you, and we couldn't be more thankful to call you ours.  You are loved very much my sweet boy, and are so blessed by your sweet blooming character.

   Stats: 

Weight:  8.3 Kg/18.2 lb
Sleep:  12 hours at night 9-10 of those straight through with an early morning breakfast before sleeping another couple hours.  You still have a night at least once a week with a 1-2 am wake up, but they are getting to be less frequent. 
Naps:  2 naps, with an occasional third
Food:  three meals and you now let us know you can't go without one of them :)  Five nursing sessions.