Big Sister!

Back in November, Dad and I decided we wanted another baby.  A playmate for you.  A newborn to have in my arms because you keep growing up so fast!  I missed having a baby in my belly, and got a little tinge of envy when I saw a pregnant lady touch her belly as their baby moved inside them.  It's a beautiful thing.  A miracle.  A blessing I feel honored to be given.  We knew we wanted our first two children, Lord willing, to be close in age with a break between any others that may follow.  I knew it would be a lot of work at first, but all that would race through my mind was the joy that would fill our home with not just one baby, but two!  Our plan was to start trying after the New Year, and low and behold, Aunt Bethany went into labor on New Year's Eve sending me in to a tizzy of so many emotions and excitement for the possible opportunity to go through the labor process again!  I was a wreck the entire day from the flood of excitement, and I was never more eager for the hope of another baby.  

A strong heartbeat.  Praise the Lord!

January came and went with no baby news, and although I was sad for a few days I knew I needed to let go and trust in the Lord's plan.  February came and we quickly discussed how maybe we should wait a little longer, but honestly I was already so set on being pregnant it took a few days to convince me that it was a decision I was willing to accept.  The week of Dad's birthday I was feeling all sorts of funny, and suspected I may be pregnant after all, but was in complete denial.  I went out and bought super skinny jeans and some cute spring tops, all of which I could most definitely NOT wear if I was in fact pregnant.  The morning of the 22nd, Dad's birthday, I decided I was late enough to be convinced that maybe, just maybe, a test would show what my heart really desired--two pink lines.  I tip-toed to the bathroom in hopes to not wake Dad, did my business, waited a minute or so, and picked up the stick as I made my way back to the bedroom.  A smile crept across my face, in both excitement and disbelief, as I kissed Dad's shoulder to wake him.  He rolled over and saw what I was holding and before I could say anything he said, "What?  No way!  Get over here!!"  I smiled and said, "Happy Birthday love! We're having a baby!!"

We were both in a state of shock.  It was surreal.  I hadn't thought about how emotional I would be about not having just you anymore, but I was a bit of a mess.  I was overjoyed with the little life just starting inside my womb, but couldn't shake the fear of our bond dwindling away.  I had crazy, untrue thoughts flood my mind (thanks to hormones) and quickly I would be overcome with tears.  Once again, your Dad came to my rescue and erased every last one of them filling me with truth and peace as he always does.

The first trimester is over, and was so very different from my first few months with you growing inside me.  I had about four weeks of feeling blah, and a mixture of extreme hunger and nausea, but for the most part I felt great.  Great with a whole lot of tired.  I take a nap every day, sometimes two, and still feel beyond exhausted.  The housework has suffered immensely, but your Dad has been so helpful and kind.  I can't express enough how thankful I am for him, and his loving kindness through  the overload of complaining and whining that goes on in the first trimester.  Oh boy!  Honestly, I can hardly handle myself.  It is bad, and am so thankful with each day as I am feeling a bit more energy and a bit less blah.  God bless your father and his overflowing kindness and his immense amount of patience. 

You my baby girl, have been so sweet and accepting of our long, boring days at home as I lay around trying to just get through.  It's like you know what I need, and rest being the majority of my needs as of lately.  You have taken long, beautiful naps (accept right now as you are fighting it with full force!), slept a bit later some mornings, and just over all been a sweet little girl full of life and always giving kisses and snuggles when I ask.  Oh my precious Zaylee, I love you so very much, and can't wait to see you as a big sister.  Your love for people is something we never grow tired of, and know you will be so loving to your little brother or sister.  You have made our first year as parents so easy and enjoyable.  We feel a bit spoiled, but mostly just thankful for YOU and the perfect fit you are for our little family of three and our first born baby girl! 

Our little peanut at 8 weeks!