I have official entered the nesting, I'm not ready, oh-my-word I'm having a baby stage of pregnancy and feel a bit overwhelmed. When it comes to labor, birth, exercise, eating well, and vaccination thoughts I am extremely more prepared this time around. I felt I was well informed with you, but I think having gone through it all once already has prepared my mind in different ways giving me the tools and knowledge I need to know what exactly to look into a bit further and learn a bit more about this time around. Living in a new country has added different forms of stress, but I am very anxious to see how it all goes and can't wait to experience things here in your Daddy's home town. The biggest source of my overwhelmed thoughts is the fact that I have yet to see a real doctor here in France, and have no idea what the actual birthing rooms look like or what they offer a laboring mother. We have finally got all the ducks in a row, and have scheduled a final ultrasound, final appointment, and a tour of the mom and baby wing at the hospital. Prenatal care is done a whole lot differently here, and most of it I like, but towards the end it feels like you are in a world of wonder and there is no knowing what to expect. The entire pregnancy you only have 7 doctors appointments which include three ultrasounds during each trimester. They don't stress too much on the Glucose Test unless you have a family history or have gained weight too quickly, each month you have a blood test to check for toxemia (from all the cheeses!), and after your last appointment you don't see anyone until you go into labor or reach your due date. My last ultrasound is September 30th to confirm baby brothers position and my last appointment is October 10th with an official doctor. At that point, I will be 37 weeks and 4 days with a due date of November 5th. That is a whole lot of time to be wondering if anything is progressing or changing, and it is already driving me batty!
The wonderful, exciting, hopeful part of this all is that the medical professionals I have been in contact with have been nothing but encouraging and supportive of a VBAC birth for my little boy. I am hopeful, but am holding tightly to the fact that ultimately the Lord knows best and is in control of the health and well being of both my own life and the life of my little one. At the end of the day, I just pray for safety and health no matter what that means in the way of how your little brother, my first born son, enters the world! After all, your birth went nothing like the way I had planned or envisioned, but it didn't take away from the fact that it was the most rewarding, honoring, beautiful day of my life when I finally saw your sweet face and held you in my arms. The Lord knows, and that's all I need to know! Until then, I will continue to prepare my body to do what it is made to do by exercising, stretching, walking, and praying over your little brother every day.
I can't wait to meet him, and can hardly contain myself when I think about how much longer I have to wait!! He is so different from you on the inside, and I can't wait to see what he is like on the outside. I have a feeling he will be bigger than you, although I haven't gained as much weight with him as I did with you, but he sure is a killer on my body! He kicks my ribs while stretching and presses so hard against my side that it makes me verbalize the discomfort as I feel his pointy little foot just sticking out the side of my abdomen. It's incredible really, and we are constantly brought to prayers of thanksgiving every time he pushes and squirms. Your aunts and uncles love pushing on my belly and watching him react to their touch, and have been shocked by how crazy he can get and how distorted he makes my belly look at times. It is a fun experience being surrounded by so much doting family members to share in this excitement with us! We are thrilled to be having a boy, and experience all the fun baby things with a different twist. Also, I love that you will still be our favorite girl for a while longer and he our favorite boy! :) However, I do have dreams he comes out a girl, and if that is the case we will be just as happy and excited!
(When we ask you "who's mommy's/daddy's girl?" you point to yourself and shout Zaylee, but of course you didn't want to do so for the camera with the same enthusiasm!)
I keep opening the drawer that holds all the newborn boy items, and I can't wait to see him wrapped up in his blankets, wearing his little pajamas, and smelling him close to me. I pray daily for you and this transition time sweet girl. I want you to be part of it all (not the birth of course!), and feel the excitement and love of a new baby in the house. You showed some severe jealousy the other day when I was helping your little cousin walk while holding her hand, and I saw a glimpse of what may be to come. My hope is that you will understand he is part of us, and makes our family all the more full. You will be an amazing big sister with your tender heart and caring spirit, I just know it! We will, however, have to work on the whole pulling hair and poking eyes out thing though :) I love you sweet Zaylee Jean and can't wait to meet your little brother in just a little over a month. God has been so good to us. We are blessed.
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