A Sweet Reminder

Last night, I got a sweet reminder from you my dear Zaylee girl and it punched me in the gut taking the air right out of me.  Marcel is the easiest baby there has ever been (exaggeration!), but he is completely spoiled in the sleep department as far as going to sleep is concerned.  He prefers to be sung to and held, and most of the time I love our five minutes alone together as he falls fast asleep on my shoulder.  Other times, it is tiring, inconvenient, and hard for me to leave you in front of a show in order for me to get him to sleep.   As I was putting him to bed last night after a hot, busy day, he was overtired and fighting sleep unless I kept holding him in the dark of the room.  Every single time I went to put him in bed he would push himself up off the mattress and whip around faster than I could escape out the door.  I tried multiple times before losing my patience and growing frustrated coming out of the room, noticeably sighing and demanding that it was Papa's turn because I couldn't do it any longer.  Papa in his calm, gentle way stood up and kissed my cheek as he walked past me to the bedroom, disappearing behind the door singing softly into Marcel's ear.  I quickly made my way to the kitchen and started loading the dishwasher to clear my head, when you popped around the corner and sat at the edge of the kitchen.

"Happened Mama? Mama sad?"
"I'm ok honey, Mama's just tired. I'm sorry love."
"It's ok Mama.  Deep breath**.  Like this (inhales deep).  Come Mama.  Sit here (patting on her little Indian style crossed legs)." 
How could I refuse that request?  I made my way across our tiny kitchen floor to where you were sitting and gently sat on your lap.
"Oh no Mama!  Zaylee too tiny!!  Funny Mama!"  
Laughter poured out of you quickly making it's way into my poor attitude making all my sourness disappear.  I moved over and you climbed into my lap hugging my neck tight speaking sweet, "I la you much Mama's," into my ear while I was humbled by your gentleness and act of grace and love towards your imperfect Mother.

Oh Zaylee girl, this broke my heart.  Here I am trying to teach you patience through your frustrations, and yet I fail at it on a regular basis.  I pray I give you the same grace and kindness you show me, and that together we can work on our attitudes through prayer and reliance on our good Lord.  I am daily calling upon the Lord for strength in my weakness, with the desire to model a kind heart, quick to forgive and slow to become angry, for you and your brother.  Your father and I will fail you often, more than we would like, but our goal and hope as your parents is to instill kindness in your hearts.  Kindness, grace, and love towards others is what we hope to show you in our lives, so that you may grow to pass it on to those you meet throughout your lives.  

You are extremely observant to moods, emotions, and situations that surround you, and feel deeply in moments that are out of the norm.  Any time you hear me and Papa with a different tone that resembles arguing in anyway, even when we are just playing with each other, you quickly put your tiny little finger up to your lips and sternly say, "SHHHH!!"  We aren't sure where you got that from, but it has proved to be a big blessing to us.  If in fact we are frustrated with one another, it quickly sets us straight and graciously gives us a fresh start to whatever it was we were disagreeing on.  You are only 2 years old, and already teaching us so much about life.  It is amazing and completely refreshing to see things through your eyes.  You are wise little one, and I pray you use that wisdom and discernment we already see in you for God's glory.  

**We are working on your frustration and deep breaths is something we practice in moments of impatience and poor attitudes.  It seems to work, and clearly we know where you get the need for training in this area from.  I'm sorry sweet girl!