...Finding Out
On June 12, 2011, your dad and I visited Wheaton Bible Church with Mariah and Kory. While there, we heard a man, Chris Yuan, and his mother speak on their journey's to God, and all the hardships that brought them there. As I was listening to the mother's story and her devotion and love for her son, something inside me screamed out, "I am ready!!" Dad and I knew we didn't want to wait too long before starting a family, but we had thought a year seemed like a good amount of time. However, after listening to this beautiful story of love between this mother and son, we both felt a tug and decided that night while sitting on our patio at 1051 Briarbrook Drive Apartment 206, that we were more than ready.For years I had had fears, dreams even, that I wasn't going to be able to have children. It is something I prayed over many times, and had begun praying that if that were true for my life, the Lord would start preparing my heart for the trials I may face. Dad also had thoughts like this. Another reason we thought, "Why wait!?"
Two weeks later at around 12:30 a.m. on June 27th, I started having extreme lower right abdominal pain. I'm a bit stubborn, and not a huge fan of being a patient, but rather prefer being the nurse, so I attempted to "walk it off". I kept telling dad it was probably just gas, or an air bubble of some sort. He, of course, didn't buy it as I could barely stand let along walk, and began googling right side pain. Appendicitis was his declarative diagnosis. I was delusional with pain at this point and believed him, so into the car we went!
We arrived at Central Dupage Hospital around 1:30. After explaining my pain, peeing in a cup, and having my vital signs taken, a young, dark haired doctor came in to talk things over with us. He asked, "Is there any chance you are pregnant?" Dad and I looked at one another, thinking back to our conversation two weeks earlier, and replied, "I guess there is a chance, but it would be too early to show up without a blood test." A few minutes later my blood was drawn, and I was wheeled off to a dark room by a middle aged man with graying hair. He was ordered to perform an abdominal ultrasound to confirm there suspicion of a possible ruptured ovarian cysts. I laid there scared and anxious to hear what he saw through the shadows of my abdomen, while dad stroked my hair with one hand and held tight to one of mine with the other. He was praying in my ear, reassuring me that the Lord was in control. The man was less than professional, and kept making concerned hmms and ahhs, as we sat there in the dark wondering what they all meant. I kept squeezing dad's hand trying to fight back tears. As he was gliding across my belly with the gray wand, spreading the cold, clear gel from side to side, he asked with an inquisitively shocked tone, "So you haven't been vomiting at all? or blacked out?!" My mind began to race, and my heart seemed to want to pound right out of my chest! With a shaky voice I replied, "No, why? What is it?" He of course answered just as I knew he would--he wasn't allowed to tell us any details as he wasn't the doctor. At this point, I lost the battle and tears began running down my cheeks falling to the pillow, as I laid there helpless and uncertain of what all this meant as your dad kept repeating, "I love you! It's going to be ok."
When we arrived back in the emergency room, the doctor came in to confirm that indeed it was an ovarian cyst that had ruptured and was hemorrhaging into my abdominal cavity. The extreme pain was caused by the blood pooling with no where to go. We still were waiting to hear the results of the blood test at this point, and our minds kept wandering to the most dreadful of fates--we weren't going to be able to have children after all. A few minutes later, the doctor peaked his head in and said, "Oh and you ARE pregnant. That's a good thing right!?" We cried and said, "Of course, we are just in a bit of shock!!" We laid in the tiny little bed holding tightly to one another, and let this news soak in. I had a life inside of me. We couldn't comprehend this reality with all that we had just endured in such a short amount of time. It felt so surreal. We were blissfully happy, and drained of all energy and emotions.
