I Don't Want to Forget...

...the first couple weeks! 

The other day dad and I were talking about how in a little over a month you will be ONE year old!!  It is hard to believe, and the time seemed to just fly by.  I started this blog for you when you were just about three months old, and I have loved writing in it for you.  It started out with mixed purposes and I wasn't sure exactly what I wanted out of it, but I knew I wanted it to be our secret and only for family eyes to see.  It is our personal memoir of our life with you, and I love that it is sacred.  Although I do all the writing, dad often reminds me of things to put down for memories sake, and this is one of them.  Since I started this well into your first year of life, he thought it would be a good idea to put down some thoughts from our first months with you so we had an accurate account of your first year!  Here are a few highlights, thoughts, adventures, and facts about your first few months, but I can't promise the true accuracy as it all gets a little blurry when looking back.

Going home outfit!  So pretty!

We brought you home on an unusually hot, eighty degree day for March.  It was Sunday afternoon on March 18, the air was muggy and the sun shining bright.  You slept the whole way in the car without making a peep, as I held your head in my hand to prevent it from rolling side to side.  Turned out, we had your carseat all wrong and what was meant to be your headrest was instead fit snug around your little baby butt.  Dad drove extra careful and we couldn't wait to get you home! We stopped at Caribou to pick up a Spicy Chocolate Mocha for me, and headed down the street to Bunker Hill Court.  The first thing we did when we arrived was open up the computer and skype with your Mamie, Papi and family in France.  They were overjoyed and wanted so badly to hold you right then and there.  As we were chatting, you my dear had your first blowout and made quite the mess.  A wonderful welcome home gift for us to receive! :)  Grandma D and Grandpa D were out picking up a few things for you, and shortly returned home.  It was so nice to have family around us, and later that day Uncle Craig, Aunt Janine, Micah, Avery and Cohen came over to meet you, as well as, our good friend David!  They all loved on you, and gave you many kisses and snuggles.  From the start Micah was so in love with you, and he is still just the sweetest thing when it comes to you!  It was a fun day and a great way to be welcomed back home with you my dear girl.

Our first night in our own room was so wonderful.  We went to bed right after your 11 o'clock feeding, and at 3:30 in the morning I woke up to find you fast asleep!  I woke your dad up and he gently took you out of your wooden cradle and changed your diaper to wake you a bit so I could feed you.  You ate well and went straight back to sleep until dad had to get up for work at 7:30.  I fed you as he got ready, and he was able to snuggle you before heading off for his first day back to work.  That would be the routine for the next few weeks.  You were a great sleeper from the start and we felt so blessed and most definitely did not take it for granted.  I was told by many women to not mention your good sleep pattern to other moms for fear they may hate me, so when people would comment about the sleepless nights, dad and I would just look at each other and say, we are blessed with a good sleeper and leave it at that.  You truly fell straight into a pattern, and would most commonly wake at 3-3:30 every night for those first weeks, with a few nights here and there switching it up and waking at around 1:30 and then again at 5.  Dad would get you out of your bed, change you, and hand you off to me, and then so graciously swaddle you back up and place you back in your cradle.  We made a good team, and I was so thankful for his help and support.  Often times when I was feeding you he would lay there with his hand on your head and say, "You are a good mom, thank you for all you do."  It meant the world to me!

The first week Grandma D stayed with us, and did more than I could have hoped for.  She was such a great help and encouragement to me.  I felt so comfortable and cared for.  My incision was pretty sore, so housework was not on my list of things, but Grandma D kept things so nice and even ironed all of daddy's work shirts for me!  I took a few naps while you laid snug on my chest, and we would both wake in hot sweats.  You were so tiny and perfect and I never wanted to put you down!  When you were 6 days old, Aunt Erin and the kids came to visit!  We took you on your first walk down the street to the little park while the kids ran wild.  Kendrick couldn't get enough of you, and wanted to hold you every minute.  

By the end of that first week, my emotions started failing me and I was quite the mess.  There were moments in the day that you were extra hungry wanting to eat every two hours, and I thought that was too soon because of things I had read.  Grandma D had went back to work, and Grandpa D was subbing in.  He too was a great help, and gave you your bath, scrubbed the floors, cleaned windows, and loved on you lots and lots!  I was a mess, and he wasn't sure how to handle it, but he did great and reminded me that it was ok to cry but wanted me to know I was doing a great job, and it was ok to feed you more if you needed it in the first couple weeks.  So I did, and all was right again!  That weekend we went out for the first time, and browsed Bed, Bath, and Beyond for a few things we still needed in the house to complete some of the projects we had started.  Aunt Diane and Uncle Fred met up with us, and we all ate at Chipotle together.  You were so good the whole time, and it was so nice to get out of the house for a bit!

We had our first day alone with you when you were 11 days old.  Dad took the day off of work to be with me, and we headed out to return a few boy items we had bought before you were born and exchanged them for some girlie things!  We perused the aisles of World Market, one of our favorite stores, and picked up some treats and a cute picture for your room.  People kept commenting on how sweet you looked nuzzled in to daddy's shoulder.  It was so fun taking you out and having you with us.  We were still in awe that you were ours, TO KEEP!  We decided because you did so well all day, we would go on a little "date" for dinner.  Well that was a mistake, and we learned quickly that we should wait a few more weeks to try that again.  We ate separately while one of us walked around with you, and I realized it was your meal time, but I forgot any sort of cover to nurse you.  So we soothed you by walking and checking out all that was around you!  :)

The following day, we went to O'Hare to pick up your Mamie as she had flown in to spend the week with us.  I brought a bottle so that she could feed you when she arrived, and she was speechless as she stared at you, tears of joy filling her eyes.  We sat and talked awhile as the hustle and bustle of the airport buzzed around us, and just gazed at your sweet little self in your polka dot, strawberry bottomed outfit! 

That week was so special with your Mamie as she soaked you in and kissed you thousands of times while snuggling you close to her.  She was mesmerized by you, and it was a joy to see.  I was at my peak of emotions and felt so off kilter.  I took long showers and sometimes let out my tears as the water hit against my face, all the while, you slept peacefully in your Mamie's arms.  It was so great to have her there, and we were so thankful that she made the long trip to come meet you and be a support to us.  She cooked, cleaned, and helped me immensely always making sure I was fed, well watered, and was able to take care of myself.  On the weekend, we took a day trip to Davenport to meet your Great-grandfather, Roman (Jack) Zay, and his family.  He had recently broke his hip, so we met the family at the nursing home in which he was receiving therapy.  He was tired when we arrived, but seemed very happy to meet you.  It was a short trip, but we were so thankful it all worked out to see him.  It was a three hour drive, and unfortunately your feeding schedule just so happened to be in the middle of both of the drives.  The road to Davenport is long, empty, and lacking many places to stop along the way.  I had an extremely hard time hearing you cry in those first weeks, and would start to tear up and feel heavy chested.  Mamie reminded me that it was ok for you to cry, and in fact, it was even good for you.  It was a wonderful day, and we were all exhausted upon arriving home!  You slept GREAT that night!  Our week with Mamie went quickly, and was very special to all of us.

The first two weeks went by quickly!  I was dealing with a lot of emotions, but was so extremely overwhelmed with joy that you were here and you were mine.  There were a lot of snuggles and kisses.  After the Grandma's left, we were on our own.  I was a bit nervous, but also very excited to start our own routine during the days, just you and me, sweet girl! 

Then it was just the three of us...

Walking Tall

Zaylee is loving to walk around the house these days!  She has learned how to pull her self up on her walking toy and start cruising with such ease this past week.  The stair climbing must have strengthened her little legs, and rightly so as she is climbing them ALL DAY LONG!  She is becoming much more confident in herself and her abilities and is transferring furniture and standing at her toy chest all by herself.  We applaud her often, and she takes well to the encouragement with great excitement. 

We were forced to take this little walker home after being "scolded" that we deprive her of all things fun, and I am so glad we listened.  At first it just sat in the corner of the room and I kind of forgot about it, but the other day I brought it out as I was cleaning and up and away she went!  It was so fun to watch her figure out how to turn it, or transfer to different pieces of furniture when she would come to a dead end. 

She is learning so fast these days, and we are amazed by every little bit of it! :)

First Snow!

It has been an incredibly mild winter, for the second year in a row, and you got your first glimpse of snow on Friday.  It has flurried a few times earlier this year, but nothing has really stuck around to amount to anything.  The snow only lasted a day or two, but we had Kendrick snap a quick picture for us as we were getting in the car so we could remember your first real snow!

Clearly you were not in the mood for your hat or a picture!

Dad and I both like the snow, the crisp chill of the winter air, and the stillness it brings along with it.  We kind of miss it, but honestly when it is in full force, we are eager for it to be gone quicker than it normally tends to let up! This year, dad was especially hoping for snow since he bought himself a new snowboard(and currently talks about nothing BUT that snowboard!).  It is looking as if he will have to wait until we hit the Alps in France next year to test it out for the first time!  Last week he surprised us by taking a day off on Tuesday, and while we were out and about we finally found a very affordable pair of boots to go along with the board, and you had fun trying them out when we got home.

We hope to always live in a climate that we are able to relish in each of the seasons, as each are special and beautiful in their own way!  Dad, however, would be happy on an island, until he remembers the chance of a tsunami swallowing it whole.  Where ever we are, we will make it exciting and find our own adventures and build our memories as a family!! 

Disney on Ice

Zaylee girl, I can't wait to go on dates with you when you are a little older and create memories and traditions with you my very first daughter!  Last week I did just that, but as an aunt instead of your mom.  Kendrick, your full of life cousin, is turning 5 next week and I wanted to take her our for a birthday date rather than buy her a gift this year, and five is a big deal! :) 

A couple weeks ago I saw a commercial for the Disney on Ice:  Rockin' Ever After production coming to Chicagoland!  I jumped on the idea, and Aunt Erin gave me the go ahead.  We planned for a Thursday night show followed by a sleep over at our house.  Kendrick was a bit hesitant at first as she thought we were actually going TO Disney World, but once she realized that wasn't the case she started to get excited for the day to come!

We met at the AllState Arena in Rosemont, while you my dear stayed home with dad.  He was happy to have you all to himself and be in charge of your bath and nighttime routine.  You did great, as per usual, but still refused a bottle! (today you took a sippy cup with milk and drank ever bit!)  As Kendrick and I made our way to the front door, we skipped and held hands and both exclaimed how excited we were.  When we got inside, the number of people and the amount of noise seemed to overwhelm Kendrick a little bit, but soon she forgot about that all when she saw the tables full of goodies that were for more than overpriced.  She was mesmerized and wanted one of everything, but we aren't rich so she got a treat instead! :)  We made our way to our seats and she nearly froze when she saw the ice and all the lights.  I had to keep reminding her to walk while she stared straight in front of her with her eyes wide and a small smirk began to take over her face.  She chose to sit on my lap, and asked me about a million questions wondering about every detail and making sure the lightning and thunder weren't real.  She feared the Beast would break the ice when it was time for Beauty and the Beast, but was happy that he didn't.  We got a soft pretzel, and I was reminded by the almost five year old that salt is in fact "not good for you anyway" as I picked each piece of it off, and that I shouldn't eat her germs since we were sharing.

The show was wonderful and the talent of each skater was impressive and wildly entertaining.  We watched the stories of Ariel, Rapunzel, Merida, and Belle, our favorite being the first and last.  The sets were beautiful and the music was loud enough that I could sing along and no one noticed, except for Kendrick who so nicely asked, "Aunt Amanda can you stop singing I have to ask you something!?"  She was entranced the whole two hours and it was over too soon for our liking!  We got situated in the car and headed back towards Wheaton to come home to you and Dad.  Kendrick talked nonstop for about the first ten minutes telling me all about her first experience at the dentist, and just like that, mid-sentence, she was asleep!

The next morning, you woke up to find you had a playmate for the day, and were so overjoyed.  You two played catch, read books, played with cars, and just played around together.  She was more often then not, holding you and carrying you around the living room acting as if you were her doll, and you didn't mind one bit.  It was fun to have an entertainer, and we were sad to see her go!  We met up with Aunt Erin and mama's cousins Jacki and Deanna and had an even more intense play date with 8 kids under the age of 5 running around!  It was a fun, active, loud afternoon and such a nice way to end our week!

Zaylee, what kind of things will you want to do?  What will bring you joy on our dates?  I can't wait to see and be apart of your little adventures in life!  Love you so my sweet girl! 

You're the Best Song I'll Ever Write

Brings me to tears every time!  Love you sweet girl.
 

I hope you never get too old to dance around the living room with us, because we love those little moments too much to let them go. Ever. 

My Birthday

I have never been the type to draw attention to my birthday or openly announce that it is, in fact, my birthday (except amongst family of course!) when January 16th rolls around, but they were always special in the simplest way.  For as long as I can remember, birthdays in our family were more focused on celebrating the person through a dinner out at the birthday person's choice spot, rather then being doted on with gifts and such.  It was special and I loved it.  We always got one "big" gift and a great dinner with the family, followed by an angel food cake with chocolate frosting and stuffed with dimes (bleached and boiled obviously).  It's great!

Grandpa D started a birthday tradition for me many years ago (not sure when it all started), and it is something that is very dear to me.  Each year, no matter where I was in life, he has sent me a bouquet of flowers always with a sweet note just for me on my special day!  This year it read, "You make us so proud as a mother, wife, and of course our daughter.  We love you!"  I cried.  One day dearest Zaylee girl, you will know the importance and weight of those words.  "You make us proud!"  Your dad says he too wants to start a special birthday tradition for you, and I can't wait to see what it is come March 15th! :)

This year my birthday was preceded by two of the hardest, trying days of parenting to date.  You were beside yourself fighting the tooth making its way out (now here!), and were so extremely frustrated with life that day that all you could do was fuss and complain.  It was sad for me to see you struggling, but also a bit frustrating not being able to help you in any way other than let you "scream" it out (read: throw miniature ten month old style temper tantrums at the smallest, trivial things).  Thankfully it didn't seem to disrupt your good napping skills, although they were a bit shorter than usual, so I still managed to have a break, but the rest didn't soften the mood much.  It was tiring and exhausting, but we made it through and honestly it wasn't SO bad just not the usual so it threw us for a loop! :)
All that to say, on Wednesday, my birthday, you woke up and were happy and snugly and my sweet little lady again!  You knew I needed a happy day :)

Dad had a day planned for me, and even worked it out for Aunt Jenny to come in from Chicago to help watch you throughout the day so I could have some mommy time and go get my hair done!  It was so wonderful to sit and be pampered a little while indulging in some salon style girl talk.  I needed it more than I even realized!  Dad came home from work and we set out on our surprise date and left you little sweetie with Aunt Jenny.  You didn't take a bottle, but you ever so sweetly fell asleep in her arms while she rocked you in your room!  She was so elated :)  Dad took me out for a steak dinner, which happens to be my favorite, followed by a night of ice skating and laughs as we hobbled back to the car with our sore, aging bodies!  It was a wonderful day.  I loved every bit of my time out with your daddy and the plans he made for just the two of us.  

This past weekend, we went up to Lake Geneva and finished the celebration, while also celebrating Grandpa D with the whole family!  Uncle Tim, Aunt Bethany, Aunt Jenny and pretty, little Liesel even came!  It was a great time of fellowship, laughter, and even singing while Grandpa D played his guitar.  So thankful for family and the time we get to spend with each one of them! 

Your Dad

Zaylee girl, your dad loves you something fierce!  Last night as we were getting into bed, wrapping the blankets tightly around us to keep out the cold, winter air, your dad whispered to me, "Is Zaylee real? How is she OURS!?"  You have been ours for ten months now, and we are still in disbelief that this is reality.  That we are THIS blessed.  Dad continued on and prayed a prayer of pure thankfulness for the gift we have in your sweet little life and the overwhelming joy that we are filled with each day as we soak every bit of you in.  You have such a great love for you daddy and our prayer for you in this life is that you will find an even greater love for your Heavenly father.  I am here to tell you that your dad has been one of the most pure and true representations of Christ's love in my life, and I am so thankful that he is YOUR dad and you too will be able to experience his great love and humble spirit.  I call him my meek man.  He has a confidence that is so gentle and strong.  I admire him more and learn so much from him daily.  He has made me a better person and continues to push me to be the best I can possibly be!  I am so thankful to be doing life with him, and am honored to be a team in this new journey of parenting you my baby girl.  You, my darling Zaylee, our so very blessed to have Paul Gregory as your daddy! 

You two have so much fun together, and I love nothing more than watching you play and laugh together!