I Don't Want to Forget...

...Pregnancy: The Beginning

The first few days following our ER visit, I was afraid to move.  The doctor had said we were only a few days pregnant, and ordered us to follow up with an OB doctor to further confirm that you were truly in my womb.  I was still in a bit of pain, and my mind was transfixed on YOU alone.  Dad would come home from work, make me lunch, open the blinds, and we would talk about how excited we were to meet you!!  We were immediately so attached to you, that when I went to the doctor's office for my follow-up appointment I was heartbroken when she told me, "don't get your hope's up too high as this may have been a chemical false positive."  It was far too late for that, we were in love and wanted you so badly!  I held back tears as she explained all the medical jargon to me, and as I went down to have my blood drawn again, I prayed fervently for your life.  For two days, I waited.  I knew in my heart you were there, I could feel it, and I wanted it so badly to be true.  I was on the phone with Sarah Jean and had confided in her that we were possibly pregnant, but waiting for the confirmation from the doctor.  I heard a beep on the phone indicating another call.  I asked Sarah to wait a minute, clicked over to the other line, and heard a woman's voice.  It was a nurse from Dr. Freeman's office with the results.  "Your HCG levels have gone up quite nicely, so you are in fact pregnant!"  My heart started racing while my stomach filled with overly excited butterflies.  I was elated.  I clicked over to share the news with Sarah.  She then told me she too was pregnant!  How fun to be pregnant with my best friend!!
As I was hanging up the phone, your dad opened the apartment door and I tearfully rejoiced in his arms.  We were going to become parents.  We were going to be YOUR mom and dad.  That afternoon I went to the grocery store and stocked up on V8 juice, orange juice, fruits and other things that I deemed healthy.  I stopped over at the Vitamin Shoppe and picked up some prenatal vitamins.  For the next two weeks, life was wonderful.  You were my only thoughts.  Dad was so in love with you from the very moment we heard you were a life inside me.
July 18th was a hot, humid day.  It was the day your cousin Cohen was born, and I had told Uncle Craig that I would head up there in the morning to help look after Micah and Avery.  When I woke up I felt extremely nauseous, but thought maybe it was just hunger.  A few minutes later, I was holding tightly to the porcelain bowl and remained there for quite some time.  From that day on, you rejected much of what I desired to fill my stomach with.  I could no longer eat my beloved cheese, or drink my morning pot of coffee.  Things I normally was quite fond of, became unbearable, and things I used to never care for became all I wanted.  The smell of most foods sent me running to the nearest receptacle.  Grocery stores, our apartment hallway, chicken, toast, and most things cooked inside our small kitchen pulled the trigger.  Dad was so gracious and kind, and would take me anywhere my craving at the moment desired.  More often than not, I would take one bite of said craving and fight my body to swallow it down, but lost more times than I won.  Tears would start flowing out of utter frustration.  I wanted to be able to eat.  I wanted the ability to enjoy food again, and the process of making meals for your dad.  I lived off toasted bagels, orange juice, gatorade, and frozen pizza.  This lasted until October 2nd.  I woke up feeling different, hungry and in want of food.  We were heading home from Lake Geneva, and I saw the sign from Crandall's Chicken.  I had to have it!  We pulled in, sat at a corner table, and I devoured broiled chicken, mashed potatoes, and corn.  It was the first meal I had truly enjoyed, let alone finished, since that hot July morning.  I was overjoyed!!