I Don't Want to Forget...

...Pregnancy: The Hard Parts

From the very beginning, I had a constant, never ending, awful taste in my mouth.  I could hardly stand it, and at times I thought I was going crazy.  It tasted almost as if I was sucking on a dirty penny made of iron.  I tried everything to wash this taste away, but nothing seemed to do the trick.  I have always been a gum addict, but for those first few months I could barely get it in my mouth before I would quickly put it back into the wrapper it came from.  At times, I would attempt to brush my teeth (or rather scrub my tongue!) in hopes that that would wash it all away, but that would send me to my knees hugging that porcelain bowl again!  Everyone I consulted on this issue, claimed they never experienced this when they were pregnant.  Further proof that I was going crazy!!  After a hot, spicy meal some weeks later, it all started to make sense.  It was the curse of the pregnancy induced heartburn.  Oh how it burned!  There were days I wanted to starve myself in hopes that it wouldn't come rushing up my throat in a fiery blaze!  I caused much of my own discomfort, as I prefer spicy foods, meaty chili, pizza, and chocolate, but it seemed that no matter what I ate or drank, it all brought on the bubbling lava.  Every night, I would make myself a large cup of hot chocolate before going to bed.  Every night!  It seemed to soothe the burn in the slightest of ways, but really I think it just became of source of comfort and habit!  
Along with the heartburn came many, many sleepless nights.  I would toss and turn from side to side never finding the spot or position I was looking for.  Your dad spent most nights on the couch as I would keep him up, and when he did fall asleep I would wake him to ask him to stop snoring or just because I needed him to comfort me.  He was so kind about all the disruptions, and never got upset with me.  Bless his heart!  He would constantly remind me that we are in this together, when I was feeling bad about bothering him or interrupting his sleep.  He is the most patient, kind man I know.  For my entire pregnancy, I cannot remember even one night of full, peaceful sleep.  I guess it was preparing me for motherhood, but at the time all I desired was a good, solid, well rested nights sleep!
I called Grandma D and Aunt Erin quite often wondering about little things I was feeling or experiencing.  I had experienced pregnancy through my sisters, living with them through the entirety, but this was different.  It was my body changing.  My responsibility.  Frankly, it scared me and put a worry in me that I had never experienced.  They would often laugh at me, or tell me I was crazy, but it didn't stop me from calling a few days later with another silly question.  I wanted to know everything that I was feeling was normal, expected.
Towards the end of your time in my belly, you had a habit of punching my bladder so hard I thought your little hand was going to break through!  I had never felt a stronger sensation to run to the bathroom than in those moments.  When we saw you on the screen, moving around in the shadows, the ultrasound tech asked me if I had to pee often.  I of course said, "YES! but doesn't every pregnant woman!?"  She then pointed at your little hand, which at that very moment was tickling and poking at my bladder.  You sure have a sense of humor :)  Along with using my bladder as a punching bag, in the last month of carrying  you, my right leg would give out as I would feel an intense jab at a nerve in my pelvic region.  I began to wobble.  It wasn't pretty, but it was inevitable, as you had begun to push down so hard on my pelvis that I began to feel a burning pain.  You wanted out, and I too wanted to meet you so I accepted your gestures of readiness.  As much discomfort as I was in, and as much as I might have complained, I truly loved feeling you and knowing you were safe inside me.  It was the greatest honor and blessing of my life carrying you in my womb!